


His brightest star was you.

by espiritus



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3, Fallout 4
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/M, Family, Family Angst, Feels, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Post-Relationship, Regret, Strained Relationships, Suicidal Thoughts, because fuck your feels, so many feels, trigger warning, you didn't need them anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-28 16:41:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13275582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espiritus/pseuds/espiritus
Summary: Years ago, MacCready was supposed to go to Spectacle Island with his new family. But Deacon stole that future from him and, completely blindsided by Von's betrayal, he returned to the Capital Wasteland, to repair his broken heart. Instead, he became a suicidal, chem-addicted alcoholic, and his relationship with his son has all but deteriorated.Now a grown man of eighteen, Duncan resents his father. Not only is he sick of being the parent figure, but he can't remember a time when his dad actually loved him. When a hooded figure appears at the inn they now call home, he finally has a chance to get the answers he's been searching for... but is he ready to hear the truth?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story follows the events of _Strange Things Did Happen Here_ and shares its name with a Two Steps From Hell song I love.

I still remember the first night she visited me.

Dad and I were staying at some sleazy dive in Megaton. He drank all day and, when night fell, Nova or Gob would carry him up the stairs to bed, where one or the other would stand guard once he'd passed out. Left to my own devices, I'd find ways to kill time until morning, when whoever had kept watch would summon me; then, I'd sit on the edge of the bathtub and inject stimpaks into the back of Dad's neck until he stopped throwing up. Rinse and repeat. But this was different.

It was raining hard that night, and the saloon was practically empty. Nova had just taken Dad, who had spent the day drinking himself blind, upstairs, and Gob had retired to the kitchen to prepare us a snack, leaving me alone at the bar. At half past midnight, a cloaked stranger opened the door and sat down on the stool next to mine, extending a hand for me to shake as the grey fabric of that hood fell away...

I knew her instantly. Most Wastelanders' eyes were dull and colourless, but hers sparkled with life and were green enough to put rad storms to shame. I'd recognize them anywhere.

"Miss Olivia? What are you-"

She held a finger to her lips, motioning for silence. "Duncan," she finally whispered, her green eyes darting around the room. "My little birds told me I might find you here. Is Ma- er, your father around?"

I pointed to the floor above our heads, and she nodded her understanding. "Come with me," she insisted, pulling the hood back down over her head until it covered her whole face. "Let's go where we can talk. I'll explain everything."

Her eyes once again scanned the room, as though she expected to see a ghost. Maybe the shadows of their shared past haunted her, like they did my father, though she didn't show it if they did.

We must have made a strange pair, a lanky teenager and a hooded figure wandering through the streets of Megaton like old friends despite being little more than strangers. But, true to her word, she was more than happy to answer any questions I had- and I had a ton of them.

"I don't get it," I said, as we left the city through the front gate. "Dad said that you were gone forever. Why did you come for me, after all this time?"

Miss Olivia dropped her head and stared at our reflections in a nearby puddle as the rain made divots in our images. "It's complicated," she replied, pushing a strand of hair from her eyes. "Your father did what he thought was best for you. What happened between us was... _unfortunate_. But it was necessary."

"Why, though? Did you not love us anymore?"

"Don't say that," she almost pleaded, her voice breaking on the words. "Your father and I may have gone our separate ways, but I never stopped loving you, and it's because I loved you that I did what I did. You'd already lost one mother, and I didn't want to put you through that again."

"I never knew my real mother, and my father hates me because of you. I don't know what you did to him, but you'd better start talking."

"Fine," she replied calmly, as we took seats on a rock just outside the city limits. "Your father and I were... Well, I loved him once. But my heart belonged to another and, while a pretty lie might have softened the blow, it was out of love that I felt I owed him the truth."

"I don't believe this. You're lying."

But she shook her head, a single tear slipping down her cheek as she did so. "There's more," she went on, another tear mixing with the rain on her face. "As a child, you were very sick. Your father heard about a cure at Med-Tek Research, back in the Commonwealth, and so I went with him to get it for you. Ever since then, I felt connected to you; in a way, you were mine, just as much as you were his. He said he'd kill me if I ever came near you again; I think he was hoping that you'd forget me, but I never forgot you."

She glanced around once more- nervously, as though scouting for nearby deathclaws- as the sun began its ascent into the sky. "I have to go," she whispered urgently, waving me back toward Megaton. "If anyone asks, we never had this conversation. And, as far as your father is concerned, I was never here."

"But I'll see you again. Right?"

"Of course," she reassured me, slipping an odd-looking medallion into my hand. "See that postbox over there? The rail sign on it means that there's an ally nearby- if you ever need me, just drop the coin I gave you into the box. My little birds will ensure I get your message."

Dumbstruck, I nodded my agreement and headed back into town as she went east. When I glanced back over my shoulder, she was already gone, like smoke on the water or dust in the wind.


	2. Chapter 2

Dad drank too much again last night. Shot up chems in the bathroom and threw up all over the bar before passing out on the staircase. At least he tipped the staff a few extra caps this time (though, in my opinion, no amount of caps is worth putting up with his bullshit).

I've seen Miss Olivia just a handful of times since her first visit. At first, I was just curious and wanted to know if the strange coin she gave me would actually work; so I followed her directions and, that night, she was at the bar. From then on, if I got into a fight with Dad or just felt lonely, I'd summon her; she'd arrive just after midnight and be gone before the sun rose. And, as we grow closer, I realize that Dad isn't as innocent in all of this as he's led me to believe.

I can hear the familiar sounds of hangover hell through the floorboards, though I'm in no rush to help. We've been fighting more often these days, and I wonder if he resents me for just being alive. If the aerial images of the Commonwealth on Miss Olivia's Pip-Boy are to be believed, that Med-Tek place is crawling with ferals. Dad hates ferals- something to do with how my birth mother died- and he'd never go alone into a building full of them. If she really did cure me of that awful disease, it would explain why he can't look at me unless he's stoned out of his mind.

At last, the noise stops. The bathroom door opens, and Dad wanders out- his eyes are bloodshot, the whole room a cloud of whiskey and smoke. There's a faint aroma of burnt flesh, and I have to stop myself from gagging as I catch a glimpse of the angry red scars. He's been putting those damned cancer sticks out on his arms again, and it hurts me to look at them. But he doesn't give a shit about what I think; he only cares about himself.

I watch as he opens a bottle of whiskey and downs half of it in one (admittedly-impressive) gulp. "Get out," he says, without turning around. "I just... I need to be alone right now."

But I don't go. I can't. If I were as miserable as he claims to be, I'd have put a gun in my mouth ages ago; that he's chosen this slow suicide implies guilt, as though he hopes his suffering will somehow atone for all the pain he caused her. 

"I said, get out."

"No," I reply, drawing my scrawny teenage frame to its full height. "Not until you tell me why you're doing this."

He says nothing, and we stare each other down, each willing the other to break first. He's fierce, but vulnerable, an injured deathclaw on the side of the road. And I, the starving Raider, can smell blood from a mile away.

"It's her," I blurt out, before I can stop myself. "Miss Olivia. You miss her, don't you?"

Dad glares at me, his eyes aflame with rage, as he reaches for the bottle again. "Stop," he demands, though I have no intention of obeying. "Just stop. I need to be a lot more high, or a lot more drunk, to be bothered right now. And you need to get out of here before I do something I regret."

He points his sniper rifle at me and, for the first time, I see pain in his eyes. Real pain, so deep that no drink or drug, or even a bullet, could make it stop hurting. "Duncan," he says, his voice wavering on the last syllable of my name. "You weren't there. You don't know what happened. And I don't want to hear you say her name, ever again, or I'm taking you to the Underworld ruins and leaving you there."

"Says the man who's afraid of ferals," I snipe back, suddenly emboldened. "I know you didn't get that cure from Med-Tek. _She_ did, and that's why you hate me."

As I say it, the room falls silent, and I can practically hear his heart stop as it shatters like a mirror dropped from the top floor of Tenpenny Tower. The look on his face is pure anguish and, though I know I shouldn't take pleasure in it, there's a sense of sadistic gratification in the bomb I've dropped. 

Of course, I'm careful to leave out the part about me seeing her- for now, at least, since it's possible that such a trump card will come in handy later. Instead, I give him a knowing look and stride out the door with all the pomp and circumstance of Liberty Prime at a Commie buffet. He knows I'm right- we both do, though it's the first time either of us has said it aloud. And I'm not sure who's hurting more right now- him, or me.

A few minutes later, I hear him sobbing through the floorboards. This is the most sober he's been in years and, though I'd like to take credit for it, the honour is more Miss Olivia's than it is mine.


	3. Chapter 3

It's just past midnight. Dad's passed out drunk, Nova's on guard duty, and Gob is cleaning up the pile of dishes that's accumulated in front of the door. They've been bringing him food and water, but he hasn't touched any of it and will likely starve to death before the week is out.

He hasn't spoken to me since I dared utter _her_ name aloud, and it's just as well, because all we do is fight. Unnerving as it is, silence is a welcome reprieve from the arguing that makes up ninety-five percent of our communication (the other five percent is him telling me to go away). He's like a moody teenager that way, all privacy and personal space and zero self-control. In that sense, I'm my own parent- Miss Olivia is the closest I've ever had to one, and we aren't even related.

When I tell her as much, she sighs and shakes her head. "Oh, Duncan," she says, taking one of my hands in hers. "I would have loved to be your mother. And, while your father's current situation is of his own making, I take full responsibility for my part in the events that led to it; I'm sorry that you had to get caught up in any of this, and I'll make it up to you in any way I can."

Her offer piques my interest. I hate this place, and I'm sick of spending all day, every day, in some shitty bar, where everyone knows I'm ex-Mayor MacCready's son. I need to do something with my life, and no one'll touch me once they find out I'm related to the town drunk.

"Really?" I ask, studying her face intently as I try to gauge her reaction. "Now that you mention it, I need to get out of here. You know anyone in the Commonwealth who's looking for help?"

"Well," she replies, her green eyes flickering mysteriously. "When you put it that way, I do need a few good people for the Railroad. Do you know what synths are?"

"Aren't synths those machine people? And what's The Railroad?"

"You could say that," she says. "The term 'synth' is short for _synthetic organic_. The first synths were created as slaves by a group of scientists known as the Institute and, though the group itself no longer exists, there is still much prejudice toward them. When I joined up, the Railroad used to help synths to escape their tyrannical masters but, these days, we just smuggle them out of the Commonwealth in order to keep them safe. It's dangerous work but, if you don't mind getting your hands dirty, I'll train you myself."

Before she's even finished, I'm already nodding and the hint of a smile crosses her face as she hands me a Stealth Boy. "Then it's done," she says, patting me on the shoulder. "Take the day to tie up any loose ends. I'll be back tomorrow at midnight, and we'll leave for the Commonwealth together. All you'll need is enough food for the trip- everything else will be provided. Oh, and try to think of a code name. Secrecy keeps us alive, you know."

I can't move fast enough and, when I look back, she's already disappeared. I stare at the medallion she gave me on her first visit, and my stomach flutters with anticipation. In just a few short hours, I'll finally be free- from Dad and his reputation, the MacCready family name... Everything that ties me to this place. 

And I can't fucking wait.


	4. Chapter 4

I can't sleep. I try, but it's a losing battle, and I eventually concede defeat. Instead, I pack the few things I own, then help Gob and Nova with customers until noon. I haven't told either of them that I'm leaving, and it's safer if they don't know; they'd probably tell Dad, and that's a bomb I'd rather drop myself. 

Finally, evening arrives. And, at a few minutes to midnight, I head upstairs and knock on Dad's bedroom door. "I'm leaving," I call out, though I may as well be talking to a wall. "I'm joining the Railroad. Have a-"

As soon as those words are out of my mouth, the door flies open and Dad's standing in front of me. There's no alcohol on his breath, and his eyes aren't dilated from whatever chem cocktail was on the menu earlier. For once in his life, he's stone sober; at least, it sure as hell looks that way.

"Over my dead body."

"Well, you've been trying to kill yourself for fifteen years and you're still not dead. So hurry it up, will you? I'd kinda like to do something with my life before I'm cold in the ground too."

Dad looks wounded, as though I just shoved a knife through his chest, but I don't regret my choice of words. Harsh though it may be, it's the truth.

"But you don't know what those... those _people_ are about, or what they do. It's a death sentence. And no son of mine is going to run off with that band of thugs. Not while I'm alive."

His voice wavers on the last word, as though he might cry, and I'm relieved when he doesn't. He thinks I don't notice, but everything's written on his face.

"Oh, so I'm your son now? Tell me, Dad- is that the drugs talking, or are you only saying that because you're worried that Miss Olivia will be a better parent than you ever were?"

This hits home. He's furious now, but I'll take anger over apathy any day.

"Goddamn it, Duncan. Stop saying her name!"

I fold my arms across my chest and give him a smug look. "Make me."

Without chems or alcohol to dull the pain, he's probably two minutes away from a complete breakdown. But he manages to keep his composure as he levels his gaze at me.

"Fine, go. And don't come back."

I can tell he doesn't mean a word of it. But I do, and that's the difference between us.

"Don't worry, I won't."

With a last satisfied smirk, I head down the stairs to start my new life with Miss Olivia and the Railroad; I should feel guilt- for leaving Dad to fend for himself, for running off with the woman who broke his heart... But I don't. Instead, I feel free, and it's more intoxicating than any drug.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Fun fact:** In Fallout 3 and 4, ghouls at the Dunwich sites (the building in FO3 and Borers in FO4) are attracted to a deity called Ug-Qualtoth, which is also Duncan's Railroad code name in this story. 
> 
> I chose the name because I wanted something that would tie into the Capital Wasteland/FO3 world. It's also worth reiterating that Mac himself either hates ferals or is afraid of them (given Lucy's death); my version of Duncan would probably find the act of taking a ghoul deity's name empowering, another way of distancing himself from his father's name & reputation.

When I leave the saloon, Miss Olivia is waiting for me outside with three other people, presumably new recruits. She leads us to a vertibird gunship and, once we're all on board, charts a course for the Commonwealth.

It's a long trip, and no one talks much, but we eventually land on the roof of the Old North Church. The four of us head downstairs and into the basement- there are mattresses on the floor, as well as a sick bay and several shelves stocked with food and supplies; a handful of agents are gathered around the tactical map in the centre, though one is clearly in charge. He's a tall guy, dark-haired and probably ten years or so older than my dad; he and Miss Olivia exchange a few words, then he motions for us new recruits to join him at the table.

"Hi, everyone," he says. "I'm Agent Deacon. Whisper- that's her- and I run this outfit, and we'd like to welcome all of you to our dysfunctional family. As of now, this is your new home, so feel free to look around and ask questions. You'll all need code names too- who do we have here?"

The others quickly rattle off their new identities- Ruby Riot, Starfall, and Fancy Lad (yes, after the snack cake)- as though they've been anticipating this moment for ages. Deacon eyes me appraisingly, then glances at Miss Olivia before turning his attention back to me; he's not an intimidating guy, but something about him makes me nervous just the same.

"Call me... Ug-Qualtoth."

"Very well," Deacon replies, with an approving nod in my direction. "Now that you all have code names, training starts tomorrow night. So get some sleep, have a look around, and we'll see you then."

He gives a casual wave and heads to the back of the building, motioning for Miss Olivia- Whisper- to follow him. It's going to feel weird calling her that. But I'm exhausted from the journey, so I choose a mattress near the wall and am just about to fall asleep when I hear them talking in hushed tones... and it doesn't take much to figure out that they're talking about me.

"Tell me that's not who I think it is."

Deacon's voice cracks on the last word, and Miss Olivia quickly reassures him. "It is," she answers. "But Duncan is my friend. He needed help, and I needed people, which brings us to now. Do you trust me?"

"With my life. But why'd you bring him here? It's one thing to break a guy's heart, but then you go and take his kid, too? Not gonna lie, but that's pretty callous, even by my standards."

"I didn't _take_ anyone. Duncan is a grown man now. He's here because he wants to be, and-

"You heard what MacCready said, Whisper: _if I see either of you anywhere near me, or my boy, all bets are off._ How long before he shows up here to try and wipe us out? It'll be Switchboard all over again."

So this is the guy she left us for. Agent Deacon seems nice enough, but he's clearly distrustful of me. And, though it hurts a bit, I can't say I blame him, because Dad's so unhinged that this whole thing is just an open invitation for him to do something crazy. And, from his perspective, inviting me here is like bringing a deathclaw egg into a raider camp. It might be pretty now, but it's still a deathclaw, and it'll probably come back to bite you in the ass at some point.

"It won't happen," she says, in my defense. "That was nearly fifteen years ago, Deacon. Time heals, and people always say things they don't mean when they're angry; this is between him and his son now, and I will not be part of it. But, in the unlikely chance that he does show up here- or put any of our agents, including Duncan, in danger- then it's _going_ to involve me."

Whoever decided that _time heals_ has obviously never met my father. But Miss Olivia has my back, and that's good enough for me. Perhaps Agent Deacon will come around once he realizes that I'm not a threat.

"Very well," he responds. "This one's all yours, Whisper. I trust that you know what you're doing, but I worry about you sometimes. I already lost my Barbara, and I won't lose you too."

"You won't," she says. "I promise."

I can tell from his calm demeanor that Agent Deacon is a way better match for Miss Olivia than Dad, who probably would have found a way to turn this sort of conversation into a screaming match by now. And, though I do wish that she'd been my mom, I can tell that she's much happier here than she ever would have been with us.

I listen for a few minutes more, but the only sound is that of silence, and I soon succumb to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Morning comes, and Headquarters springs into action as the day shift relieves the night crew of their duties. Someone brews coffee on a hot plate near the back, and another hands out food to those just starting their days. The bustle and sense of camaraderie between the agents remind me a bit of Moriarty's, back in the Capital Wasteland, and it makes me miss Nova and Gob, and some of the regulars. But I'd never want to go back there again.

Headquarters isn't very big, and I quickly figure out where everything is; Miss Olivia- Whisper- gives us a tour of the escape tunnel, making sure that all of us know where to go if we're ever attacked or compromised. She says it's only happened once, shortly before she joined up, and that was years ago; given the conversation I overheard last night, however, being prepared for the worst is better than being caught off-guard.

The last thing I want is to be known as the guy whose father wiped the entire Railroad off the face of the earth and decimated their HQ because of some silly crush. Unfortunately, it's not a stretch to picture him doing this; Nova and Gob keep him on a short leash, though I hate to think of what will happen when they inevitably die or leave Megaton. And that's enough to remind me why I left in the first place.

That night, we're split into two groups for training- Ruby Riot and Starfall with Whisper, Fancy Lad and I with Agent Deacon. I suspect that there's a reason for this and, about ten minutes before we're scheduled to leave, he pulls me aside.

"Ug-Qualtoth. That's the name, right?"

I'm shaking a little, though I realize that it only arouses further suspicion and, by extension, makes me even more nervous. "Yeah," I reply, trying to sound calm and collected, even though I'm anything but. "I mean, yes. That's me."

Deacon nods, though I detect a polite caution in his gesture. He's wearing sunglasses indoors, which is already odd, but it especially bothers me that I can't see his eyes. Maybe that's part of his master plan, whatever it is.

"Good," he continues, glancing around as if to make sure that no one else is listening in. "Look, Dunc- I mean, Ug-Qualtoth... It's no secret that you're MacCready's kid. Anyone with a pair of eyes can see that."

"That obvious, huh?"

"Yep. You're an exact copy of your old man, minus the blue eyes and death stare. And I'm gonna be honest with you: given Whisper's history with your father, letting you join us is a huge risk. That said, she trusts you and, because of that, I trust you; if you break that trust, or endanger her life in any way, you and I are going to have some serious problems. Are we understood?"

Dumbfounded, I mumble my agreement. Deacon gives me another curt nod and motions for me to follow him, though we hang back from the group as we make our way through the church basement. The others are up ahead, all chatter and excitement, but I'm still frazzled by what just happened; saving synths is a noble cause, but Deacon's reaction and constant scrutiny are starting to make me wonder if joining up was a mistake. 

Other than Whisper, I'm completely alone out here. If I leave, or Deacon kicks me out, I have nowhere to go but back to Megaton and my old life, hanging around some shady bar and babysitting a bunch of drunks, including my dad. Worst case scenario, I can join the Minutemen, the Brotherhood, a Raider gang... or maybe I'll just move to Far Harbor, become a fisherman, and live out the rest of my days surrounded by fog and those crazy cultists who worship radiation. But none of that sounds particularly promising, so I need to make this work.

Then again, I've always wanted to visit Far Harbor. And I look pretty good in a hazmat suit...


End file.
